Friday, September 19, 2003

What a day yesterday was...

I went to the doctor's for my very first pre-natal check. I was SO happy that we'd finally be able to tell all the family about it! We'd even invited both sets of parents to dinner (on separate nights) to tell them. Then the dr starts doing the ultrasound, and sounded worried.

When he finished he basically said I'd had a miscarriage.

They took some blood to test & verify, but the dr was pretty sure.

I tried to be strong thru the whole thing but its so hard to hold your tears... I've been wanting this baby so much, I could almost feel myself holding it, singing to it... now its not to be . Not on May 4, anyway.

I told my sister last night. She was pretty supportive. Same for my parents & brothers today. I liked what my mother in law said when Frank told her - that it means the 'equipment' is working well, LOL!

Tuesday I'm having my uterus essentially scraped clean. Not looking forward to it, but what are you gonna do.

I'm pretty exhausted. The last week or so I've had this hunger/nausea combination that's made me feel grossed out by most foods. So I'm not sleeping that great or eating that well. And yesterday's news were very exhausting emotionally, both yesterday and today. I'm going to watch some tv and be a vegetable. I hope tomorrow I feel better and can work in the garden.

Here's to brigheter days ahead.